Partners who are committed to their relationship expect they will stay together happily for a long time. In the best-case scenario, the thought that no-one is spared from difficulty is only vaguely present in the background.
That really is a shame, since some problems occur so frequently that partners can perfectly prepare for them. If they do, they will succeed in avoiding them.
Four common pitfalls
Time
At the start of a relationship, life is just a bowl of cherries. Short-term and happy does not seem that hard. Then why is long-term and happy so hard?
Because long-term does not happen automatically.
After all, the passage of time involves several risks. They’re hidden in everyday life as important events, interesting encounters and minor or major changes. And that’s what makes these risks so treacherous: they’re silent killers that strike when you least expect them, and can ruin even the best relationship in the blink of an eye.
Children
Aren’t kids great?
Yes they are. They can be sweet, engaging, cheerful and creative. But sometimes they can also be very tiring, disobedient, cheeky and demanding. And you and your partner will often disagree on how to deal with these annoyances ...
It take a lot of energy, which in turn makes it hard to be a good parent and a good partner at the same time.
But it is possible if you learn to set the right priorities and turn differences of opinion with your partner into an opportunity to grow closer.
Economy
If society were an orchestra, the economy would be the conductor. The economy plays a major part in lots of aspects of our lives – often without our being aware of it. As a result, certain principles of capitalism and free market economy have crept into the sphere of personal relationships.
If you look at a love relationship through the eyes of a consumer, you expect to get some enjoyment out of this relationship. If not, you’re free to choose an alternative.
There is nothing wrong with this reasoning if you’re dealing with washing powder. But your partner is a totally different matter.
Sex. And the bullshit ballast.
Sex is an important aspect of a love relationship. But not in the way the media and society would have us believe.
We are not just burdened with an unrealistic image of sex, but also actively encouraged to determine the future of a relationship on the basis of this image.
As if the quality of a relationship depends on the quality of the sex.
We have been told time and again that sex should be safe. Perhaps we could have a realistic discussion about lovemaking for once?