Is it OK not to celebrate Valentine's Day?

“Is it OK not to celebrate Valentine's Day?” I was asked this question last Saturday during a counseling session at the Standaard Boekhandel bookshop in Oostkamp, and I will give an answer in this blog post.

Celebrating Valentine's Day: no thanks!

I would like to start with a simple and honest answer: there is absolutely nothing wrong with not celebrating Valentine's Day. You have every right to consider Valentine’s Day as commercial pseudo-romantic bullshit, and decide together with your partner not to bother.

But did you notice that I wrote “together with your partner”? That is really important. Because in fact, not celebrating Valentine's Day is only OK if you take the decision together and both support it.

Celebrating Valentine's Day: yes please

If Valentine's Day means more to either one of you than mere commerce, then it’s not OK to skip out on it. In that case, don’t just let the day go by, since your partner expects you to confirm your love and the fact that he or she is important to you. It would be a shame not to give him or her that confirmation.

But should you do it with all sorts of frills? No you don’t: a little token of attention is enough, as long as it’s not just a formality or a compulsion, but rather a sign of respect and love for your partner.

Make Valentine's Day something personal

If you make an effort to be spontaneous, then Valentine’s Day is the perfect opportunity to surprise your partner with something original. Don’t opt for chocolates, flowers or lingerie, but go for something personal that really expresses your love for your partner.

Does your partner like Italian food? Give him or her a voucher for an Italian meal prepared by you on a day of his or her choice. Is your partner a Star Wars fan but do you always fall asleep halfway through the movie? Present him or her with a voucher for a Star Wars movie night and a plant sprayer to wake you up if you doze off. Does your partner complain about having too little time for a relaxed conversation? Make a present of 12 vouchers for a Sunday afternoon walk-and-talk, and if you put a different location on each voucher, you can discover lot of nice places together at the same time.

This way, you don’t show your love on Valentine’s Day with another box of chocolates you bought, but by making time for something that makes your partner happy.

Valentine’s Day with (young) kids

Finally a tip for exhausted parents of young children who would like to do something for each other on Valentine’s Day but don’t have any energy left: give each other a moment without the kids in the weekend after Valentine’s Day. Arrange for one partner to sleep late on Saturday, and for the other partner to have a lie-in on Sunday. Or plan an afternoon nap, a bike ride, a swim or another cheap and spontaneous form of me-time.

This way, you’ll exchange a token of love, respect and understanding as well as reinforce your team spirit as partners and parents. And in the meantime, it’ll be two days closer to the end of the tough period of having young children at home …

Do you have an original idea for celebrating Valentine's Day? Or do you have any other questions about love and relationships? Feel free to contact me!