Talk over a pancake

A birthday party

 ‘Are you also divorced?’ a six-year-old asked me between two bites of pancake.  ‘You aren’t? Oh. My parents got divorced when I was in kindergarten.’

The kid continued to eat his pancake and kept on chatting about how much fun it is to have two birthday parties in a row. And about mom’s house with the big back yard, and dad’s new girlfriend who had just given birth to her second child – no not daddy’s, by another man, but the girlfriend wasn’t sure who.

 ‘Good for you,’ I said. ‘Then you’ll have someone to play with when you’re at daddy’s place.’

Then the kid suddenly went silent. A frown appeared on his forehead and his lively eyes expressed sadness.

 ‘I can never be completely happy when I’m with daddy,” he said softly. ‘Because when I’m with daddy, mom is all alone. Then she’s sad. I have to take care of her, and I can’t if I’m not with her.’

My heart broke.

During our talk over a pancake, this carefree munchkin had changed into a sad child who carried the weight of the world on his frail shoulders. I can only hope that his parents are aware of the discomfort he feels in his little heart, and actively try to address that.

Boost for my motivation

Some people ask me why I have written a book and give lectures and counseling sessions when I have so many other things to do …

Well, that’s why.

Because I dream of a world where every child has parents who have made a conscious and sensible choice to be with each other, and who, if things aren’t what they used to be, are prepared to make an effort to stay together.

A world where children don’t have to build their own lives on the mess left by others.

A world where children can do what they are supposed to do: enjoy a carefree childhood.

 (Of course, I don’t want to judge the situation of that particular kid’s parents, as I don’t know the details.)